22 March 2012

Minneapolis: The Bad Waitress

Because waitresses suck.

No, not really.  Waitresses are great.  'Specially Bad Waitress waitresses.

2 E 26th St
Minneapolis, MN 55404
(612) 872-7575

Because to eat here, you choose a table, sit, check out the super vegan-friendly menu (you may be too hungry to notice, but you can order breakfast all day), write your order on the slips provided (don't forget to include the name of your table's superhero!), and bring it to the counter to pay.  They'll bring the food to your table.  More like the GOOD Waitress.  Food is all I ever needed from you.

Do you ever have those moments when you look across the table and your BFF is sitting there, just as ravenous as you are, and she says, "We're so hungry we're pulling on our earrings!"  And then you realize: we're both pulling on our earrings.  And we're SO hungry.

I love Becca.  She made me laugh so hard later in the meal that I got salad dressing up my nasal cavity.  OW.  Balsamic and lemon were NOT meant to go up there.

You'll be totally shocked to note that I got a soy chai.  (I do it for you guys.)  The foam is actually just as tasty as the drink itself.  Very good, spicy, and particularly gingery.  A small is $4, but we didn't get charged extra for the soymilk.  Sweet!  Embarrassingly (least it would be if I ever experienced that emotion), I got a little over-excited and drank an inch off the top before remembering to take a picture.

BBQ, in a rather ironic move, ordered the Vegan Faux Sloppy Joe for $8.  It comes with chips and salsa, but she requested American Style Fries instead - which are nice, fresh, and crispy on the outside.  I hear the hash browns are great too.

But the Sloppy Joe.  YOU GUYS.  It tasted FANTASTIC.  So fantastic that I almost devoured Becca's whole plate.  It's sloppy!  It's Joey!  It's fresh!  It's an amazingly flavored mix of tofu, tempeh, and veggies, with that authentic Sloppy Joe taste!  Good and smoky, mushy and crumbly at the same time.  You gotta try this thing.  I don't even like Sloppy Joes.

Every time I come here, I get the Organic Mixed Baby Greens Salad for $7.50.  I just can't resist a truly well-prepared salad!  If you handed me a bowl of iceberg with cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, I'd balk.  But this thing?  HEAVEN.  The baked tofu MAKES it.  Sometimes they use tempeh with similarly extraordinary results.  The dressing is super tangy (especially when up your nose), and the cranberries and walnuts add a delicious sweetness.  Everything is fresh and lovely.

Then there's the cake.  Oh my sweet goodness gracious.  You have not LIVED until you've tasted this cake.  They must use the very highest quality cocoa powder, cause not only is the cake amazingly fudgy and moist, but it also has an incredible chocolate flavor.  As Becca said, sometimes you taste the sugar and oil more than anything in a baked good - but here, it's the chocolate.  We were so okay with that.  Chocolate layered with chocolate, topped with chocolate and more chocolate.  That slice of happiness is worth all 5 bucks.  For shiz.  Check out that hallelujah lighting job.

Everything else on the menu with a V will delight you, my hungry friends.  Except the vegan vanilla milkshake.  Too artificial in the ice cream department.

This place gives you everything you've ever wanted in a meal.  You don't even have to tip your Bad Waitress.

10 comments:

  1. I wish we had BW around here.... tears! Sometime drop me a line and tell me what B. said to you :)

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  2. But you have that adorable Hobbit place! I am so looking forward to the day I get to blog about that. Yes, I can do that!

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  3. Oh Em Ge! The cake sounds so amazing, AND it looks burple!

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  4. Awww...What's not to love about Becca? I mean really.

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  5. WELL SHUCKS YOU GUYS.

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    1. Why don't you just accept how awesome you are and move on with your life?

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  6. At first I thought that cake and its plate was a piece of white paper with a dying black marker scribble across it. Mmmscribble.

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    1. Haha... you know. I forgot Matt's camera. Again. So we had radioactive scribblecake.

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