Where else could you find a super heavily graffitied bathroom and see in tiny, neat gel pen: "I was watching an infomercial the other day and it told me to forget everything I knew about slipcovers. Let me tell you, it was a load off my mind."
Only at Hard Times.
Hard Times Café
1821 Riverside Ave
Minneapolis, MN 55454
Meet Valynne. At-peace-with-the-universe vegan extraordinaire. You've never laid eyes on a more naturally talented fashionista. (I mean, look at those earrings.) And she can manipulate the English language in the most refreshing way.
Thank my lucky stars for Valynne. If she hadn't been there to guide me, I could've wound up paying $27 for asking a stupid question.
Ordering here IS rocket science, but it's okay because it's a stone's throw from the U. So if you show up here, you're already smart. If you went here for your undergrad AND "grad" school (aka, Masters in Education program) and ate here a few times then forgot how to order a couple years later, you have Valynne. Or you read my blog.
You are so chill. The chef - nay, the gourmet prodigy - will call your name. So step three: go get your food already. It's why you're here.
And by pants, I mean tastebuds.
Then, dear readers, there's the Banh Mi sandwich. You pay $6.50 for a million dollar meal. Don't worry if you've never had Vietnamese before; this is classic street food at its best and will appeal to your palette for sure. (Unless you're Sister.) You know that phrase, depth of flavor? It was invented for this sandwich. You're licking your fingers for more of the spicy green vegan mayo before you've even finished the thing. The seitan is perfectly cooked and crispy on the edges. When you're done, you are so satisfied, you could probably achieve enlightenment.
Well, next time you go to Hard Times, let me know. I haven't even tried half the menu yet.